How do parents know when there
is cause for concern?

Are you noticing a change in your adolescent's online behaviour that is causing you to be concerned? Has his/her Internet use become excessive? Is it interfering with his/her life? If you are noticing an increase in frequency and intensity in your adolescent's desire to be online, you are right to take a closer look at what's going on.

As a parent you know your adolescent better than anyone else. If you have a gut feeling that something is not right, and you've noticed changes in your teen's behaviour, trust your instincts! It certainly doesn't mean you should jump to the worst conclusions as there are many reasons why your adolescent could be acting differently.

Don't overreact. Identify what changes you are noticing. Your adolescent may be pushing boundaries online and needs some adult direction to reestablish the line. He/she may need help restoring perspective and placing some balance between time online and offline. It is typical for adolescents to break boundaries, especially if they think adults aren't aware. Sometimes all it takes is the perception of an adult presence to re-adjust their behaviour.

Some adolescents want to spend hours at a time online because they are meeting needs. You can be sure that adolescents are not online to search for safety tips, they are socializing and having fun! Remember, the hallmark of adolescence is their sense of invincibility. They have a pseudo sense that they can "handle" anything! They need adult supervision and assistance with precarious situations as they are still developing and do not have the capacity to handle all situations they may be faced with.

The Internet carries a misleading illusion of privacy. Adolescents gravitate towards this misconception as their need for privacy holds centre stage. They are seeking, and often feel "entitled" to, more privacy. Many do not fully appreciate the public nature of the Internet. Often they do not truly conceptualize the worldwide connection nor the consequences of their behaviour. For example: They may choose to engage in conversation with an older individual who makes them feel good, not truly understanding how they can be sexually exploited.

It's not a surprise that adolescents are drawn to the Internet. The appeal of the Internet seems quite logical as they can search topics they are embarrassed to discuss, find individuals to talk to about personal matters, and experiment with intimacy. These are all healthy adolescent behaviours, but the using the Internet for this purpose presents risks. As you would monitor where your teen is once leaving the house, the Internet is no exception. It is another public place where they are going. If your teen walked out the door, you would ask:

• "Where are you going?"
• "Who are you going with?"
• "What time will you be home?" or "Be home by…"

The same is true for the Internet.